Looking back at tons and tons of papers I had all these mixed non-visible feelings, nope I didn't cry or hysterically laugh, I just sat there going through boxes and boxes of memories.
That small paper covered with gelatin with a bear and my name on it was me on the board in the 3rd grade, it used to be moved if you were "naughty" or had to be punished by taking out time from your "Friday Play Time", so I remember all the girls never being punished until I was once, and when I stayed for like 15 mins with the other kids playing and me sitting I remember being in the center with all the other punished boys around me talking, gosh I remember how angry our teacher was!
Then, moving on to the time I was slightly more religious, then I found the magazine me and my friends published in the 4th grade, justsoyouknow, we sold it for 2 DHS at that time... Then the first and last poem ever published for me in 2006 in AlGhad newspaper.
Moving to my "emo teenage" style it was hilarious and I just love it! All the studded bracelets, black purses and whatever you could imagine, I even have a paper of "Rap" that Lulu wrote.. Old love letters and gifts from friends and previous childhood lovers, and it all was a part of this BIG piece I am.
Back to our subject? Why do our memories age and what do they leave out?
For sure our memory doesn't erase everything by date, I believe it deletes what hasn't been spoken of for a long time, what parts have been demolished by time.
It's not the big things that stay or the smallest that leave, it's what you bring up all the time even if it was just a small hand shake, and it's all these scents that stay.
Usually I don't remember older smells, for example I do recognize new perfumes, but the way my nose suddenly remembered the smell of that old perfume was actually funny, it had been in a box for years and years, I got it maybe 7 years ago and it still works!
Memories stay while life goes on, and maybe you really can't leave the person you were before, why would you! But, even if memories cannot be erased it's the work of the mind to separate the gone from the coming-up-next.
You can't live waiting for that old lover to come back, the time isn't the same nor the place, nor you.
"The perfume is yours and the place, is the place
But something was broken between us
You're not you, nor is the time the time" Farouq Juwayde
"فالعطر عطرك والمكان.. هو المكان | |
لكن شيئا قد تكسر بيننا | |
لا أنت أنت.. ولا الزمان هو الزمان " فاروق جويدة |
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